One girl told me that she was sad because her sister did not talk anymore with either her mother or her second sister. They are three sisters, two of them already moved out of the home and she, the youngest, still lives with her mother. And the eldest is only in contact with her, not with her mother or the other sister. This was the reason for her to be sad.
I could feel and hear from our small conversation that she always thinks for others. And this is what I told her: You need to think of yourself, too. You have to see how you are happy. It is not in your hands to make your sister talk with your mother. You need to find happiness also if she doesn’t.
To make this more clear I compared it to hunger. When someone else eats, you do not fill your stomach. Your hunger is stilled when you eat yourself. And you cannot force anybody to eat or eat for someone else. If you always think for others and for their happiness you forget your own happiness. You need to think about what you would like to do this evening and with what you would be happy. And when you have established your own happiness with what you do and with who you are, when you accept your heart, your personality and your own life, then you can help others. And you will see how much easier it will be for you to bring happiness in other people’s lives if you yourself have found your happiness.
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I really love this entry. I can apply it to everything I do and to the moments when I notice I am trying to change the outside before the inside.
Hunger is a good analogy.
It’s alway important to find a balance between your own happiness and the happiness of others. You have always to take care about this balance. Otherwise people might take advantage of you and you will lose yourself. But also it’s not nice when a person is egoistic and never cares about the needs of others, thus fifty-fifty sounds better 😉