Today I talked with a friend who is going through a difficult situation in her life at the moment. She is a very nice woman and always takes care that everyone is fine and that everyone is happy. This means that she gives a hand whenever it is needed and she does that from her heart. However in the last days or weeks she had to experience that her good nature was taken advantage of and not by strangers but by those who were very close, who were friends. She told me that she let her feelings flow gave and trusted and then she got disappointed.
I know this situation from other people and also from me; it is not only her who is going through this. Although it is always my wish to share love, to give whatever I have to make others happy, there have also been people who want to take advantage of it, who want to make money and who want to cheat. I always say that it is good to help and to share. It is great if you feel in your heart that you want to make others happy. However you have to take care of your happiness, too.
I may have written this in the diary already but it is very important so it is good to repeat it again: You can only give happiness to others if you have it yourself. Else you will someday feel that you gave so much and may not have got enough back. I know many people and as it seems to be a female topic I know especially women, who started being themselves, doing something for their own happiness and being strong in that. Sometimes this means that they need to take some distance from those who like to take advantage of them. In this way they will reach their strength and happiness. That is wonderful and my friend, too, will manage the difficulties that she has right now, I am sure. No matter how many others you made happy, you need happiness, too. Love yourself and give respect to yourself and to what you are doing, then others will learn that, too.
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I am kind, and others do take advantage of me. But I also suspect that part of my kindness is lack of bravery and not pure kindness.
My mom is a very kind and giving person; this sort of situation happens to her quite a lot.She is very selfless and often gives to others without thinking of her own needs and desires. Especially as her child, she would do amazing things for me and I was happy to receive them! I would try to do nice things for her as well, but it could never amount to her motherly generosity.
But there were times when she would offer me help with something, but then felt frustrated when I demanded too much of her time… I would apologize and didn’t know what her boundaries were. And that was the problem; she needed to be able to set her own boundaries so that she could maintain her feelings of peace and happiness. I can’t protect her emotions if she won’t. It was important for her to learn how to make time for herself so that she would feel happy and satisfied.
That is a most excellent quote to remember, and I think that I could benefit from it. Sometimes in order to help others, you must help yourself. By this I mean sometimes it is better to say no to helping and putting more on your plate than you can stand, but then you spread yourself so thin and nobody, not even you can benefit from the energy your pouring out…