Ask a stupid Question, get a stupid Answer

Yesterday I read some funny lines in Hindi which I really enjoyed and had to laugh about. I read it out to Ramona and we both were laughing which made Apra laugh – who had no other reason to laugh than the fact that we laughed. So I thought I share the laugh with you, too!

It is about people asking stupid questions… and what you could answer.

In the cinema you meet a friend who asks: “Hi, what are you doing here?”
Perfect answer: “Oh, I bought tickets and want to sell them on the black market – would like some?”

In the bus, a big, overweight woman steps on your foot and asks: “Oh, I hope you did not get hurt?”
Perfect answer: “No aunty, it was fun, do it again!”

In the middle of the night the phone rings, you pick up and the caller asks: “Were you sleeping?”
Perfect answer: “No, I just lie around and practice dying!”

Someone sees you with short hair and asks: “Did you get your hair cut?”
Perfect answer: “I don’t know, man, I fell asleep in night and when I got up, my hair had gone back in again!”

Someone calls you on your landline phone and asks: “Where are you?”
Perfect answer: “I am shopping – the phone is hanging around my neck!”

When you come in, taking off hat, gloves and scarves and someone asks: “Is it cold outside?”
Perfect answer: “No, that’s my beach outfit!”

Someone sees you washing your car and asks: “Ah, you are washing your car today?”
Perfect answer: “No, just watering it, I heard it would make it grow!”

A new acquaintance asks you: “Where did you get that accent?”
Perfect answer: “It was a ‘buy one get one free’ at the supermarket!”

Someone asks you when you are out with your children: “Oh, are these your children?”
Perfect answer: “No, my parents, they shrunk in their old age!”