Yesterday I wrote that if someone is a real friend, it doesn’t matter to your friendship if you change your belief or philosophy. Today I want to add that it should not even matter if you have a different opinion than each other from the very beginning. It is fully fine and it doesn’t mean that you cannot love each other.
I often give the example of my oldest friend Govind. We are very different from each other, have a lot of different habits and opinions. Still we are friends, see each other when we both are in Vrindavan, we meet, we talk and we love each other. It doesn’t matter that we have different opinions.
Opinions are a bit like different taste. When we three travel together, there can be several points in which we don’t fully agree. Ramona loves eggplant whereas Yashendu absolutely does not like it. We manage to cook eggplant from time to time so that we can enjoy it but also make something separate for Yashendu as well. It works and it doesn’t matter that they have different taste.
If I have a friend who smokes but I don’t smoke, we can be friends anyway. I even write in my diary that I don’t approve of smoking but I still love my friends who smoke. I am a vegetarian and openly and always advocate vegetarianism but still have many good friends who are not vegetarian. There can be many examples like these but the main point is that even if I don’t agree with a point of my friends’ lives or if they don’t agree with a certain aspect of my life, we still can be friends.
So if I write something in my diary about one of these points, for example that I think people should recycle their garbage but you do not recycle or if I believe one should not drink alcohol, especially if one’s children are around but you do exactly that, we can still be friends.
I have made the experience that people minded it very much whenever I wrote negatively about something that they actually did in their lives. Some people even got very angry, thinking that I am writing about them in particular. This made me think from time to time, before writing a diary entry: ‘Oh, if I write this, maybe he or she could think I am writing about them! I should talk to them before!’ The reality is however that I cannot warn everybody every time that I write something that could concern them, too. To how many people can I talk?
I explained before, too, that nothing that I write is in any way personal. Of course I get inspiration from everything around me but I like to talk in a wider range. You may think that I am talking about you but what you don’t realize is that your neighbor has the same problem. I usually write about things that concern many people, not only individuals.
This is why, if I have written something in the past or write something in the future that you find in your life and that fits to you please don’t take it personal and don’t mind it. It is meant for a large number of people to read, not only for you, the individual. And it is only my opinion. If yours is different, it is fully fine for me, too. You, your love and your friendship is valuable to me. I love you.