Last week I wrote that there are some friends in your life with whom you can talk for days and nights without ever feeling bored. You share everything and you feel entertained by each other. On a side note I mentioned that your partner should be one of these people – and this short sentenced stirred some thoughts which I want to share with you today.
To start with my personal experience, I can tell you honestly that my partner, my wife, is definitely my best friend. We share everything with each other and we are fully open and honest with each other. Our thoughts often travel the same way and we know each other so well that communication sometimes does not happen verbally but from heart to heart. Although we are from different cultural backgrounds, we have always shared our thoughts with each other and could thus understand also those areas of the other one’s life, heart or mind where we did not have access to until then – because it was quite foreign to us.
I believe that this is one of the basic reasons for a relationship or marriage to work – when you are friends, when you share, when you entertain each other, have common interests or points to talk about. When you enjoy listening to the other one and vice versa.
I have met many couples who tell me that they were friends first and then fell in love and became partners. It is understandable: you know the other one well. You know his feelings and how he reacts. You know what moves him and you enjoy being with each other. You trust. If love grows on this basis and you take your friendship to a new level, the level of a partnership, you will spend most of the time of your life with a person with whom you enjoy whatever you do.
In an arranged marriage however, as it is still so usual here in India, you are only playing a lottery. You don’t know the person with whom you will get old, with whom you will have children and who ideally should be the one person on this earth whom you should be closest to. Maybe you will get to know this person and feel that there is hardly a way to get close. Perhaps you realize that there is no way that you both spend an evening without getting bored if there is not the television to watch or some other people to talk to. If you have an arranged marriage, you simply have no choice. Your spouse can become your best friend if you are lucky. Or you just have a husband or a wife. That’s it. Someone who has a place in your life but not in your heart.
Try your best to make sure you have a friend as partner. Love is strong when you can share and you can share only with friends, with people whom you trust. Your partner should be the one with whom you share everything. That would make your partner your best friend. Live this idea, share with your partner!