Short and sweet Meetings or Nights of long Talks - two Types of Friendship

Short and sweet Meetings or Nights of long Talks – two Types of Friendship – 6 Sep 12

Post author:Balendu
Post published:06/09/2012
Post category:Friends
Post comments:0 Comments

Yesterday and the day before yesterday I wrote about the way how you approach other people in order to make friends. I have written about the necessary openness and readiness and about unnecessary and disturbing expectations. So now assume there is someone with whom you have been in touch, with whom you were talking and there is something like a small friendship that started. What happens now? Either you hit it off and your friendship grows strong – or maybe not. Today I will write about the second option.

I am sure everyone had this kind of experience sometime. You are sitting next to a person and everything is fine in between you and you think the other one is nice – but you somehow don’t know what to talk about. You sit there, you have talked about the weather already, you asked each other how health and family and work. What else? Any topic you start or the other one starts does not seem to be right, the conversation stops after two sentences.

If you are wise or the other person is, this is the point where one of you gets up, says ‘It was nice meeting you. I have to go and look after my child now / I have to do some work / I wanted to do some shopping. I have to go, hope to see you soon!’ and leaves. It is good to meet for a short time, have a nice chat and then leave. Because you already know that you and the other one cannot entertain each other.

There are many reasons why this happens. You may not find full tuning with the other one because you have background of two completely different cultures. Maybe you think in different directions because you grew up in different ways. Or maybe you simply have completely different interests and thus have nothing to talk about. Even though these all factors make it difficult for you to talk for a long time, you can still share friendship and love! Different cultural background or lack of common interests do not make friendship impossible!

Whoever it is with whom you are spending your time, you will enjoy it most, if you can entertain each other. Is there something that sparks a thought in you when the other one says it? Do you voice this thought and the other one laughs because he finds it exactly what he would have thought of? When you go somewhere together, do you forget your surrounding because you are so deep in your talk? Or can you sit next to each other, both lost in thoughts and still enjoy your time?

If you can answer with ‘yes’ to most of these questions, you have a friend with whom you can actually spend lots of time. I don’t say that the other ones are no friends – they are just a different kind of friend. You can meet them for short, you can have a short phone call, you can enjoy their company for a movie or a drama in theater where you don’t have to entertain each other but get entertained by someone else. But you cannot spend hours or full nights in talk.

We always have both kinds of friends in our lives, it is natural. But take care that you have at least one or two of those with whom you can really share and spend time. And obviously, your partner also has to be of that kind!

Enjoy your friendships, whatever sort they are of and remember that we all are different and that this is a good thing – you don’t need to be best friends with everyone!