What to do when your Friendship doesn’t go deep due to different Beliefs and Interests – 17 Dec 13


I yesterday explained that there may be friends in life whose beliefs completely differ from yours. What can you do if that is the case and you have developed a relationship that seems rather formal and not as deep as you would wish it to be?

The first thing that you can do is just to tell what you believe in. Express the issues in which you have different opinions so that both of you know where you are at. If you then feel that there is no way that either of you change, just accept the fact that you don’t agree with each other.

Don’t let this destroy the bond of friendship between the two of you. At the same time however, don’t expect too much of it. Keep up the love but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t go deeper than meeting and seeing each other from time to time.

If I look at my grandmother and my father for example, I can see that they have changed a whole lot but of course they will never change as much as I have. They have spent their whole lives believing in religion and although they have left behind a lot of the things that go with it, they won’t completely change. And I am not demanding that either.

The key is that you need to understand and respect each other. Let them live as they like and live as you want as well. As family members remain family members, no matter what happens, it is mostly easier to do this with them than with friends but with friends as well, you can have such a relation. In fact, if you have a real friendship and love and one of you changes while the other remains the same, you will be able to go along with it.

One thing is for sure however: there is a certain gap in between you. You are not able to share what is deeply in your heart, you cannot get very much involved in each other’s lives and you won’t sit and talk for hours.

There is no dishonesty in this friendship. You still wish each other well but your thinking is so different from each other that you cannot have those pleasant experiences that you have with someone who shares your emotions.

Please accept it. If you can accept that the other one is different, then you also need to accept the fact that you won’t be as close as you could be if that was not the case. Respect the other one’s belief and keep love in your heart. That’s what you can do for the sake of this friendship.

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