Forgive instead of Resenting – It Makes it Easier – 18 Oct 09


Yesterday I wrote about it how we sometimes keep some anger over many days although we could have solved it since long time. We humans tend to make our lives more difficult than they are. I have said this about people who are too much in the mind. People who think and think and think and thus make a big problem out of something that is not worth worrying about. But also people who want to make everyone happy make their own life more difficult. Of course, because it is a goal that can never be achieved.

And then there are people who are resentful and cannot forgive. They also have a hard time which they created themselves. I often meet people who complain about things which happened a long time ago. Why are you still carrying this around with you? You might think this is justice, another person did wrong to you so you need to be angry forever. But please see that this is the wrong concept! Live for yourself and see that you feel much better if you are not angry! Forgive and leave your anger behind and remember that this is not an act of grace towards the other person but that it is something that you are doing for yourself, too! Be in love, that will make many things much easier for you!

We had another beautiful day and in the evening a nice pooja ceremony which is also part of the Diwali festivities.

Anger, Forgiving, Happiness, Mind

7 Replies to “Forgive instead of Resenting – It Makes it Easier – 18 Oct 09”

  1. Here is a well known Zen story. There are many different versions of this story.
    “A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her.

    The senior monk carried this woman on his shoulder, forded the river and let her down on the other bank. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing.

    They both were walking and senior monk noticed that his junior was suddenly silent and enquired 1CIs something the matter, you seem very upset? 1D

    The junior monk could not stand his agitation any longer and replied, 1CAs monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders? 1D

    The senior monk replied, 1CI left the woman a long time ago at the bank. Are you still carrying her? 1D

  2. It can be hard to notice that resentfulness makes you feel awful. The story in your mind may be so loud that you do not notice. If you want to forgive something or someone noticing how bad you feel can be very helpful. If you decide that you genuinely do not want to feel this terrible anymore you will be able to let it go.

  3. When someone says something that hurts you even if they mean to hurt you (and many times they may not) allow yourself to know that this is only a reflection of the pain they are in and the fear they have. It is not about you. And thin of times that you have done this yourself. Have compassion for yourself and you will have compassion for the other or vise versa.

  4. The title of this post reminds me of a conversation I had with my professor last week. I was talking about the hurt I felt from an action taken by one of my classmates and I told Dr. Pete that I really wanted to forgive her but it was really hard. Dr. Pete looked at me completely surprised and started to laugh. He said gently “Hard? Forgiveness is the easiest thing you can do for yourself!”