Why we have to forgive ourselves and others – 13 Apr 08

Forgiving

Yesterday I said that hurting somebody is the biggest sin. And you can hear very often when a couple broke up that both of them say the other one gave them so much pain and hurt them. And many people when they get hurt, not only in relationships, want to harm others. But it is important that you do not hurt anyone just because you are in this feeling at the moment. Even if you have the wish for revenge, do not follow this. Forgive.

Forgiveness is the biggest jewel of human life. Everybody needs to have this in their heart. If something happens which hurts you and you are angry, please learn to forgive. If not, you will cause pain for yourself; you will burn yourself on the fire of your anger. You need to go through your emotions, of course, but then, without hurting the other one you can forgive. Don't keep that in your heart.

Sometimes it is very difficult and we find it hard to forgive. We ask why? She or he did that to me, why should I forgive her or him? But we have to learn to forgive, not only others but also ourselves. We often do this kind of thing that we need to forgive ourselves. If we do not forgive ourselves we feel guilty and create anger for ourselves. This is why many people learn to forgive themselves. It is easier. We also have situations in which we forgive ourselves and when someone else does the same then we do not want to forgive him. Why do we burn in anger for others, if we forgive ourselves the same mistake? This is a very good reason to forgive others: you may have done the same and you did forgive yourself! Forgiveness will give you satisfaction and peace.

Ann and her husband Christy came from Ireland to visit me here and Sabine also came for dinner. It is nice to have company of lovely people and to be together. Yashendu was busy in making a photo album for our website which is why I cooked today. Everybody liked the food and it was very delicious. I also liked it. I love my cooking. Sabine brought something for dessert which we are going to eat now, let's see if I like it, it looks good!

 

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  1. Sharon

    I agree with you, I think holding your tongue amidst intense feelings can be very beneficial.d There have been quite a few times when I wish I had done that.

  2. Hap

    this is the most important part- to forgive. many never even consider forgiving themselves, if you can’t forgive yourself, how will you forgive others?

  3. Anthony from Arizona

    In my life I can still remember how badly certain words that people said to me burned me; things that family, friends, or strangers said in anger or hate or even thoughtfulness. And I have kept my distance from people who have hurt me with their words before, even after much contemplation of their side of things, to the point of fully sympathizing with it and even after all the fire in them was gone. There were some people who I would see, just seeing, they know longer thinking ill of me and maybe even filled with love for me…I would see them and a pain in the pit of my stomach would rise up and make it impossible for me to be fully open to them in that moment. And I have talked to some people with whom this happens about this and we both agree, very sadly many times that distance is a good idea. And sometimes it is not understood why this is needed and with good reason. People are not their words and the words linger to represent them long after they are said, living only in the minds and pain of others.

  4. Emily

    There other night, Thomas and I were discussing the horrible shooting that occurred in Norway last spring. We were talking about the way the Norwegian judicial system handled the murderer’s case. Rather than giving him the death penalty and retaliating in anger, fear, and revenge, they decided to consider him a sort of science project… they want to study his mind and try to discover what kind of psychological issues and pressures would bring someone to commit such atrocious murder. I think this way of handling a criminal case has some inherent forgiveness within it. Rather than ending his life because they felt so much anger and hatred toward him, they are giving him a chance to explain himself and, in a way, forgive himself. I believe they are taking the greatest amount of benefit from a seemingly horrific event… not to mention, forgiveness is the important principle! I thought this was genius compared to how the U.S. reacted after 9/11.

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