I received a mail today from a woman who used to read my diary. She asked me for advice, or rather for my point of view on her family situation. Her son, 22 years old, does not have a good relationship to his father. In his childhood he had seen his father being violent and then the father did not keep his promises towards him. This seems to have left an injury inside him. He doesn’t speak more than necessary with his father and whenever both are in the house, the atmosphere is tense. The woman wrote that she wanted to talk to both of them but the son doesn’t want to hear anything about it. She wanted him to forgive.
I told her that I cannot give any advice to her but if I could talk to her son, I would tell him that forgiveness is the jewel of life. When we are able to forgive, we are rich. If he could forgive, the other person, the father, could also realize his mistake. When you realize a mistake you will take care not to repeat it. It happened when he was a child and a child’s heart is very soft and sensitive. When this kind of impression is there, it can last very long. That is what I feel that is happening in her son’s heart and mind. He doesn’t even want to talk or hear about it. When he thinks of it, he closes his heart. For him it was an experience that creates anger and this is what I want to say: If he doesn’t release his anger, he will suppress it and will never be natural. He should forgive his father. That is the only way to be happy.
Related posts
Will God forgive your Sins if you pay Him some Money? – 8 Feb 11
Forgive Yourself and Leave Guilt Behind – 22 Dec 09
Forgive instead of Resenting – It Makes it Easier – 18 Oct 09
Forgiving can be the biggest Lesson – 27 May 09
I have had experience with not wanting to forgive my father before too. It was ridiculous, everyone in the whole family was unhappy when my father and I were together. So I just didn’t go home for years. I missed a lot of my family that way. It is better to forgive.
If the think about forgiveness as what is owned or not owed, as what is fair or unfair, as what is right or wrong, you will not be able to forgive. This is not what forgiveness is about. Forgiveness is a beautiful relief and brings you into joy.
I love this! Forgiveness is the jewel of life. It really is. We gain so much from forgiveness: peace of mind, love, clarity, relief, acceptance, and a chance to move forward with light and energy for life!
I agree with you completely forgiveness is such a gift and to be a ble to forgive wholeheartedly is difficult even when the forgiveness is for something that is seemingly small and unworthy of time spent on it. But when the offense is larger forgiveness is something that is so useful but not used often. I guess what helps me the most is thinking of how I would like to be treated in the case had I been the one to make the mistake…I would pray for forgiveness…