I received a mail today from a woman who used to read my diary. She asked me for advice, or rather for my point of view on her family situation. Her son, 22 years old, does not have a good relationship to his father. In his childhood he had seen his father being violent and then the father did not keep his promises towards him. This seems to have left an injury inside him. He doesn’t speak more than necessary with his father and whenever both are in the house, the atmosphere is tense. The woman wrote that she wanted to talk to both of them but the son doesn’t want to hear anything about it. She wanted him to forgive.
I told her that I cannot give any advice to her but if I could talk to her son, I would tell him that forgiveness is the jewel of life. When we are able to forgive, we are rich. If he could forgive, the other person, the father, could also realize his mistake. When you realize a mistake you will take care not to repeat it. It happened when he was a child and a child’s heart is very soft and sensitive. When this kind of impression is there, it can last very long. That is what I feel that is happening in her son’s heart and mind. He doesn’t even want to talk or hear about it. When he thinks of it, he closes his heart. For him it was an experience that creates anger and this is what I want to say: If he doesn’t release his anger, he will suppress it and will never be natural. He should forgive his father. That is the only way to be happy.