Secret or Ashamed Followers
Yesterday you could read my description of proud followers, followers who like to tell the whole world about their guru and the fact that they follow him. Today I want to describe a type of followers who do exactly the opposite: they hide that they are actually following a guru.
I call them secret and ashamed followers. These are people in normal jobs and normal lives. Their family has nothing to do with spirituality and if they told their colleagues about their master, their colleagues might declare them insane. So they hide it.
It is however not only their surrounding from whom they try to hide that they are following a guru. They even hide it from themselves. These followers are actually ashamed of their feelings of needing a master.
How did they become followers then? Well, they once or twice had seen an advertisement for an event or a book which they thought to be interesting. Some day they decided to buy that book or go to that event, fascinated by that face on the cover of the book or on the advertisement they saw. They liked it, really, they thought that guru said a lot of true things. And so they start going to more events, buying more books and following this guru.
They would never wear such clothes as the usual followers and they believe that other people are getting too crazy about being followers. Secret followers think that they are above such things. But secretly and inside, they admire their guru and they keep on going there more and more often. They don’t admit it to themselves but they become real followers.
Somehow inside themselves they feel that it is not really right and not really good that one person is so important in their lives. This is why they don’t accept it for themselves and don’t tell it to anybody else. They are ashamed of what they believe in but they are fascinated and cannot stop it.
If you talk about their guru to them and say anything negative, they would agree with words. Their feelings and thoughts however would say tell them you must be lying and nothing of that is true.
These are the secret or ashamed followers. They don’t have self-esteem, they are searching for something but cannot admit that they follow someone. They know themselves it is wrong but cannot help it.