I have friends in many different professions and several of them work in big companies, the corporate world, where big business is done. They told me that in this business emotions are not allowed. You make contracts, you follow the rules, there is a system and you just work within the system, without any emotion. You can imagine that this philosophy does not really convince me.
I want to do business. I really like it but I cannot ever leave my feelings aside. I cannot switch them off for my working hours and then switch them on again when I have free time. Anyway, my work has lots to do with feelings, so this would actually rather ruin all business.
Also in regular business however I believe there has to be more feeling. Otherwise you only function. You are not alive, it is as if you are just a machine. You are a computer, a robot, doing what you were programmed to do but not living. You make sure that in your professional life there are no emotions. If ever a tear or a sad feeling was seen by colleagues or competitors, rumours about you having a nervous breakdown would spread like wildfire. No, emotions are only allowed in your private time. This however doesn’t work and has a very bad effect on your physical and mental health as well as your social life and love life.
Such an attitude in your work will also make you act in the same way in your private time, too. It is difficult to switch and so you should not wonder if your wife or relatives tell you that you seem stressed, not relaxed, closed or not happy. You don’t let emotions and feelings come up right away because you are still in ‘work mode’. It takes time and is not so easy to realize that you are allowed to feel again. Others may find it strange behavior because they expect you to be jolly and happy or even to be sad if there is a reason. But you block these feelings because you get used to not allowing them.
This is the effect on your social life but more clearly you can see it on your own health. You get more and more stressed, you don’t have any outlet for your emotions and that’s why they are all cooking and boiling inside you. There is no joy and happiness but pressure and rules. This is how so many people suffer from burnout these days. They just feel like getting away from all of this and being a normal human person again! They want to feel themselves again and their body forces them to.
Many people say that successful businessmen have a lot of advantages and with their money can do anything they want. The reality is that most of them work and work and work and never really enjoy. They have a lot of money, yes, but they got used to being without feelings and have difficulty spending time enjoying what they have been working for. They fly business class, yes, but they fly from one appointment to the other, have to cope with time zone changes and jetlag and because of this get drunk on plane so that they can sleep. They take sleeping pills or even worse drugs to enhance their concentration. I heard that some people even use Ritalin, a drug prescribed against the attention deficit disorder, ADD. You can be very happy if you are not in this condition yet. Please don’t let it get that far, it is a horrible situation.
Your body and mind cannot and will not take this for a long time.
You need to bring love and feelings into your work. There is a way. Enjoy what you are doing, meet others with happiness and feelings instead of being like a stone. There are principles in business but they are man-made. Make love and feelings a part of those principles.
I am also a business man but I am a human person first. Humans have feelings. It is natural and we have to allow them. Tomorrow I will continue this topic with some tips on how you can avoid getting stress and burnout if you are in the business world.