In one diary entry of last week I pointed out to lovely people who have difficulties accepting and loving themselves that they need more self-confidence in order to shake off insecurity with others. Some people have experienced so much insecurity and for such a long time that they have developed fear. They are afraid of so many things that could happen that their whole life seems to exist of fear only.
Of course there are people with whom this fear is so extreme that they need professional help of a psychologist or psychiatrist. Many people however can still live their lives and they seem fine when you pass them on the street or speak a few words with them but inside there is a deep hole of fear.
This can happen when people have experienced something horrible, an accident, a crime or something that has shocked them so much that they are afraid of the world. In this case, too, I would recommend professional support. A psychologist specialized on such traumas can help you to leave the memories behind so that they don’t affect you anymore in the present.
If that is not the case however, this kind of fear often develops gradually in the course of years. It starts with a small worry. Is that what I am doing right? It grows to the insecurity that I described yesterday when you are unsure about everything and everybody around you. And then it climaxes in irrational fear.
People suffer very much in such conditions. They lead their lives like everybody else but they are worried about everything they do whether it is right or can have bad consequences for themselves or others. When they walk in the street, they are always afraid someone may steal their purse. When they are in company, they are afraid that someone thinks ill of them. When they say something, they wonder an hour after it whether this sentence may have caused someone to be angry or upset. When they enter a car, they prepare themselves before that they might have an accident in it and die. When they lock the door of their apartment in the evening, they double-check three times that it is locked and all shutters are closed so that nobody can come in. If they have the courage to travel, they are afraid that the plane might crash, that they get lost in the jungle, that they drown in the ocean or become victim of some kind of crime.
The strange thing is that these people still do all of those things. They just do them with their worries and fear. If you are in this situation that I have just described, I would like to ask you something: How many times have you had this fear and nearly panic in the last week? How often in the last month, the last year? Hundreds or thousands of times, right? But still you are here, safe and sound. You are alive. You are healthy, your body is fully fine. It is only your mind that tricks you into the illusion of fear. You have been afraid thousands of times but whenever a situation comes in which there is some difficulty, you managed it. You were worried, thinking how you will survive and how you will keep on living. You have survived and you will again, in every of those situations.
Fear is an illusion and it spoils your life. If you are afraid, you cannot enjoy. Whenever there is a challenge, you are afraid of it before, during and after it. There is no moment in which you can simply enjoy. You are fine and you are able to cope with the situations that life brings you. Have trust in whatever is out there in this universe. The whole world is there for you, not against you. Let your fear go. Live.
We had a great day today, enjoying the beautiful weather in the North of Germany. Jens, Regina, Celina, Ramona, Yashendu and I went to meet Andrea and Michael at the beach of the Baltic Sea. The water was very cold but nevertheless some of us went to dip into the sea. It was a beautiful holiday.
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Yes, it was a really nice day… ;-)And the Boltic Sea was really cold, but it was worth it…:-)
…
so, we have a nice day
with nice people…right? right!!
ok.
Love Celina
I have a friend who is in general always afraid and I will definitely show her this article. It is getting difficult even being with her because you cannot do anything without her asking five times if that will really be okay. But as a friend you will always try and assure her that it is fine.
Swami Ji, I believe this kind of fears can have a lot of different reasons more than you described here, one being bad experiences in the past (not an accident but for example constant rejection by other people) or also your upbringing. I agree that this fear is unnecessary but it is very difficult to convince a person of this who is at that moment in the middle of this fear
Dear Courtney,Of course as a friend, you will try to help always but actually your friend will need more security from inside, not from the outside. I know what that is like but you have to encourage your friend to trust more on her own decisions, her own feelings and her own actions.
I wish you all the best!
Had a great day! Jumping into the water with you was lots of fun! 🙂
Dear Tiffany,I have written in the next days’ diary entries about some of those points. Maybe that will be interesting for you, too.
Much love and thank you for writing!
I want to think the same, but now it´s impossible, I don´t know that what is the God wants from me
Dear Ana, nobody knows what exactly is God’s idea in putting us in this world or even if there is a certain purpose for all of us. But I am sure that being alive and opening yourself to the world without fear will bring the sense of knowing what you are doing and for what.
Thank you Swami Balendu. I try it everyday and I´ll remember your words. A rain of kisses for you!
The key is unconditional acceptance of life and what it brings. A big hug of Universal Light.
Dear Cristobal, hugs back to you! Remain open for whatever comes!