I have been writing about fear in the last week and explained why I believe fear is something that we are born with and which is just natural. In an email, a reader explained me that she could easily accept the fact that fear was natural but that this did not help her get rid of it. She said she was nearly always anxious about all kinds of topics and whatever was planned, whatever she should do, she would worry about the result. When there was nothing else, she would be afraid for her health, afraid that something could happen to those she loved and so on. This anxiety had become a part of her life. What to do about this?
The first thing you need to do is to determine whether there is a certain reason that you are in this situation. Is there an exam or a test coming up that you are nervous about? Is there something important going on, like a work project in which you want to be excellent? Maybe your future depends on something that is going on right now?
If any of this is the case, please sit down for some minutes whenever you feel this anxiety and just relax. Get some perspective and remember that nothing, whatever is going to happen, is going to cost you your life or love. Nothing can be bad enough for you to get that much afraid or anxious. What you fear is an illusion, a creation of your mind. The world will not stop turning! You are obviously aware of the bad effects that this fear has on your body and mind, so calm down and remind yourself that everything is okay. It is a limited period of time, there is a point when this will be over. Now you will go through it, you do the best you can and it will be alright.
But what if you cannot make out any particular reason? What if anxiety has become a general state of mind, like in the case of my reader? Then there is no way to say ‘Once this time is over, everything will be good’. When you notice that you are in this situation, it is a serious sign to change your thinking – in order to avoid serious health problems!
This anxiety often goes hand in hand with stress. When there is a lot of stress, you get anxious about being able to get it all done on time and still nicely or correct. At the same time, if you are anxious about several things, you will get stressed about it because your mind is just busy, concentrating of what you are afraid of.
Obviously, yoga and meditation are very good methods of calming yourself down and getting rid of anxiety. One factor is that with yoga, you get physical exercise which stimulates your complete body and makes you feel good. You immediately feel more relaxed after a nice workout. Additionally to that, use meditation to find peace inside yourself, to keep your mind from swirling around and from creating illusions which make you anxious or afraid. With some practice you will notice how you will be able to focus more and more on reality and presence instead of creating horror-visions of the future.
Another important thing to work on now is your self-confidence and self-esteem. Again, meditation helps you but apart from that I would recommend you to remember, several times in a day, that you are great just as you are. Stop being afraid of other people’s judgment. They are also just humans, they do mistakes and should you do one now, they may have done the same thing a while ago already.
You have to come back to a life that is worth living it. You have to be able to enjoy.
So good to remember and be reassured that whatever we fear or whatever we regret is only as powerful as we let it become. It’s true that the world does not stop turning because of the fear or the regret no of course not, it will continue to go around and leave me behind if I am wallowing in my fear and regret. But if I choose to move on and live my life then that is for the better and my life will be that much more fruitful, but this is so much easier said than done.