Sometimes it is strange for me to see how much fear people are living in. Sometimes it is financial fears. If it is not that, they fear an accident could happen to someone in their family or one of their friends could suddenly get ill. If it is not that, they fear of doing a mistake that could cost them something in life. It sometimes seems to me as though some people cannot live without this fear.
It is as though they actively search for something they can be afraid of: if the financial situation looks good, they search for a problem in the family. If they cannot find that – or are assured that it is actually not problematic at all – they will look for something else. In the end, if nothing else, they will be afraid of the world’s general situation. Of war and hunger or a nuclear catastrophe.
Now you can call those fears baseless but they are actually not. The fear itself has a base and that is very clearly within this fearful person.
You need to see why this person feels the way he or she does. How come there is such a big insecurity that makes them search for something that could be wrong. It looks like horrible negativity at times, too, and can make you fully dislike certain conversations with that person. The sad thing is that you can talk and talk but won’t usually manage to convince the other one. In the end, it pulls you down to be always hearing about all those fears! You have to make clear to the other person that you don’t want to hear about this negativity all the time – especially as it is always about the same issues that you already talked about!
If you realize that you, yourself, are in such a situation and maybe friends have even told you to not again and again talk to them about your fears – or even to get professional help – you should seriously consider changing your thoughts. I know that it is easier said than done. I know that your fears come up and you often cannot do anything about them. At least that is how you feel.
The truth is that you can do a whole lot about it. First of all, you have probably taken the first step already: you talked to someone about it. It made you feel better in that moment but this is not a permanent solution. You have to get rid of the problem itself. Look the fear directly in the eye. See whether it is in any way relevant in this very moment. Is it an actual fear, is it really a threat or is it actually just created in your mind?
The chances are usually quite high that it is nothing real but a scary scenario that you made up yourself. Really, in most cases this is the truth. And this is what you need to work on: get out paper and pen and physically note down why those fears have no substance other than your insecurity. Once you have written all down, you will already feel better. Now take that paper and put it in your pocket. It will be with you for whenever you need to look at it – to remind you that everything is alright and you don’t need to worry.
If there is really a reason to worry, there is also a way to work on it. If not, there is no sense in worrying because you cannot do anything about it either. Get active, move yourself and get your thoughts involved in something productive – that’s how you can manage to get stuck in a web of your own fears!