I was thinking a little bit more about the habits and manners at dinner. Some people keep the habit of not talking during eating time, others share their whole day with each other. When we were staying with Joanne and Jeff, we were introduced to one of their small dinner rituals: Everybody tells one ‘high’ and one ‘low’ of his day. If you do not have a low, you can also tell two highs. So you tell the others what was the best thing in the day and something that made you sad or angry.
It is a nice little ritual but the most important thing about this for me is that you get to share the day with each other. Often when both parents are out working throughout the day and the kids are with other people or alone at home, they do not really have much family life anymore. They do not know anything of each other anymore. Then characters develop separately from each other and on the next bigger occasion like Christmas or another celebration, everybody wonders with whom they are actually celebrating. They have lost each other on the way and don’t know each other anymore.
I feel in that kind of situation it is just very important to keep a small ritual like common dinner. Please, have dinner, lunch or breakfast or maybe all meals together. It will connect you with each other and it will be good for everyone. I say in this way love can go through the stomach. Share your day with each other, take part in each other’s lives!
I love eating together with other people. It is for sharing food, for being together, for feeding each other. And this is how we enjoyed dinner today, too, with Su and a friend.
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I have been considering notions of personal space lately- something I have never fully understood. Some people if they spend all day together begin to feel like their space is being invaded, others love to constantly be with another. I’m not sure what I think about this, but I will keep considering it.
As me and my siblings get older the amount of time we spend together gets smaller and smaller.I like this idea of sharing some good and bad times with each other just to stay connected and to know what we are all going through.
I used to do a similar exercise with my singing group before we would start rehearsal; we called it happys and crappys! So you share something that made you happy and something that was crappy. It’s a nice way to have everyone share what is going on lately for them.And meal time is a great time to share with the family! For some families, it is the only time.
My family always has meals together, and we love to chat about what has gone on in our own days. It doesn’t feel right eating without them. Eating together is something important in a good family.
These small rituals have great effects. They are able to strengthen every kind of relation. It doesn’t implicitly have to be a common meal, but something that you can also share together and look forward to.