Yesterday I wrote that I love all my friends with unconditional love. I love them even if they do something that I personally do not approve of like smoking or drinking. Maybe I would not like to be with them in the moment when they are smoking or eating meat but I love them anyway.
And this is also how I want to be loved. Not with many expectations but without conditions. It happened very often that people turned away from me when I did not react in the way they expected me to. I also had this kind of experience with people who claimed to be my friends. But this I do not consider a real friendship.
Often someone has a problem, tells me about it and asks for my opinion. Then I give an honest reply which sometimes does not fit with what they want to hear. After that they want to convince me of something and it feels like they want to have an approval for what they are about to do. They are not sure of themselves and ask me for my opinion although they only want to hear that it is okay and good what they are doing. But I will say what I feel. I want to be honest. You want to have my approval but I will not necessarily say what you expect me to say. Then please don’t be disappointed.
Because of my lifestyle I get in touch with really a lot of people and there will be so many people who expect me to behave in a certain way. I cannot make everyone happy and act how others want. I need to live with my freedom and in my honesty. And if you ask me for my opinion, I will give it to you. Honestly. I am not an artist working on a stage to please the audience. Often I know exactly that they will not like what I will say. They will not follow what I will say, they will do what they have decided upon before, and they just want to have my stamp on it. But I do not react like this. I am honest with myself and my heart. And with this honesty I accept myself and others, I respect myself and others and I love myself and others.
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Real friendship is something that some people have to learn how to have, it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. It is always suprising when something small and unexpected makes a friend turn away, that is why communication is so important, but still often it’s not enough.
Expectations and respect can be partners. A different kind of respect and love are partners. I believe that when many young people in the west struggle with respecting their elders it has something to do with sensing the hurtfulness of expectation.
When you play the role of a helper, you can feel a lot of pressure from others to give them your golden seal of approval. They trust what you have to say and believe that it will validate their behavior. That is why they pressure you a lot to agree with something they are doing…but if you disagree then it wouldn’t be right to approve of it! Being in this helper role means that you have to keep boundaries sometimes. You can only spend so much time with people who need your energy like that. So pick and choose when those times are, and then give yourself lots of space to preserve your energy and wisdom. :o)
I think this is a very key morale in life especially as more often than not people don’t want the honesty but rather a warped truth that will benefit them. However the real truth will often make the difference in matters of importance. I also believe it is a very necessary factor that parents should employ with the upbringing of there children.