Raising Expectations by Empty Feel-Good Talk – 29 Jun 10


I have told you about the man in the park and told you that I found him very honest. I have also written already about the way how people often talk in the US and how they exaggerate. It is often funny, probably one of the first things that you may notice when you come to America for the first time.

I have found and written last year already that people talk much but then do nothing which can be very strange for those who are not used to this. I believe that people want to make others feel good through their talking. They will talk anything that could make you feel good. In their point of view they make the other one feel good. It is nice, they enjoy my talk. This is their intention of talking. However later on they do not show any interest in actually doing what they said.

They don’t have any wrong intention. They want to make their listeners feel good, which is just nice of them. However from that they can raise expectations in others and may even not realize that. They make them feel good for the moment but then they lose the interest because they were not serious about it. Those who were listening feel good while they hear those words and look forward to seeing the action. After some time they realize that the others were not serious about it and they get disappointed. It is again the question if you feel what you are saying. If not, it will not come into action.

I want to say these people, it is nice of you that you want to make others feel good, but later on, if you don’t keep your words, it can hurt others or make them feel bad. So it would be better if you did not do this first step. Others might feel good for a short while but then they feel bad for a long time after it. And as I said, this can affect your relation with them, too.

We have arrived well today back in Wiesbaden and as always it is great to be here!

3 Replies to “Raising Expectations by Empty Feel-Good Talk – 29 Jun 10”

  1. As an American, I can vouch for the fact that we talk more than walk. We have many ideals in our minds that we pass along to each other, but what we teach each other in action is different.Even though I know not to expect people to do what they say in my culture, it still does disappoint when they don’t.

  2. Hi! I’m from the US too. I remember the first time I lived in close proximity to someone who wasn’t American, it was a German woman named Julia and she had a very hard time in our group of people because she always answered questions honestly. People began to dislike her and it caused her much sadness not understanding that you can’t say what you think to American people. I wonder how we got to be that way?

  3. I’m American as well! It’s true… we often don’t mean what we say, but it’s sort of a formality to be overly nice and exaggerate things.
    I don’t usually expect that people will follow through with what they say. Sometimes its disappointing and other times not. But regardless, what is the point of communication if it really means nothing? I hope this will change in the U.S. for the better.