If you have been reading my blog for some time and or if you have explored our website, you probably came across the list of people whom we welcome here and the list of people whom we do not welcome at the Ashram. Maybe some people can have the impression that this is like filtering guests. Actually, yes, it is. After many different experiences, we do filter those who come to the Ashram. And I actually believe that this is something that you should be doing in your life as whole, too.
Our filter at the Ashram has very fine settings. It is not a filter according to appearance, skin colour or belief. No, we tell people not to come when we can read that they would not enjoy their time here with us because of different expectations. Sometimes we can read these expectations in just a short description why they want to come to India or the Ashram. Sometimes it takes a bit more conversation to see it. Whenever however we get to know that they have an expectation that we cannot in any way fulfill, we make this very clear.
So yes, this is a special place and we do our best to keep our guests happy. If we know beforehand that they would not be happy here, we tell them that we are not the right place for them! And in this way we are happy and they, too, because they get the chance to find a place where their expectations can be fulfilled.
I believe that everyone should consider himself to be special enough to apply the same filters to his own life and the people in it. You want to be happy. And you would like those who are in your life to be happy, too. So you need to find out what their expectations are and whether you are able to fulfill them.
You have probably experienced a situation with your friends sometimes in which you felt the pressure to do something which you really did not want to do or to act in a certain way which was not like you, simply because your friends expected you to. If you acted the way that was more like you instead, they were disappointed. Many friendships have even broken due to wrong expectations.
This is why I welcome, not only in my home but in my life, those people who either don’t have any expectations or whose expectations I can fulfill. I want people in my life who respect my feelings and care for my happiness as well as their own happiness. I apply a filter at the entrance to my heart, too, so that I can let those in who will make me happy and whom I can make happy.