How to deal with Negative Emotions – 16 Oct 08


Today the last three yoga students also had to go although it was hard for them, too, to leave the Ashram. One of them, Frank, asked me a question: “Swami Ji, do you also have negative feelings sometimes?” I asked him what he meant with that and he replied that he was talking about anger and sadness. I said yes, of course I am human, too, and it is just natural that these ‘negative’ emotions come. But I don’t live with it. I can also feel anger, sadness or jealousy for example. This is very normal but I do not hold these emotions. My way is this that I allow them and accept them. If there is something to be angry or sad about, then I get it but I cannot live with that for a long time. It comes and I try to find a reason to be happy again. I don’t believe in struggling or fighting with these emotions. I like to allow them. In this way I think you can accept and let them go. If you fight and struggle you will suffer more.

Sometimes there are situations in which it is difficult to find something positive or something to be happy. You do not find peace or happiness anywhere because these emotions are so strong and true. In that kind of situation I also believe one should accept it rather than fight and struggle. Then you can get rid of it with time. Of course the time that it takes can be very different from person to person. It depends on the consciousness, how much a person is aware of it and can analyze the feelings with open eyes. This will help to come out of these emotions and instead of being blind of anger one can watch it.

Ramona went out to the vegetable market in Vrindavan today together with Yashendu. When she came back she was very happy and jolly to have seen that all, how much is going on there and how many people are there. Then she told me that it was a bit strange because when she was there on the market she was first happy and suddenly she felt sad. I asked her why and she told that it would have been very nice for her mother to see that, too, and it would have been nice to be there with her. She said she felt silly, she is twenty years old and there she was, sitting with tears in the eyes and talking about missing her mother. But I told her that this is very normal! I also miss her and the people whom I love who are not here with me. Why should she not let this feeling be there, just because she is twenty years old? You need to live these feelings and then let them go. So I told her that we would go with her mother the next time when she will be here.


  1. Hector

    The important part is definitely accepting the emotions, that lets them pass.Thanks Swami Ji!

  2. Seth

    I really wonder how people must see you, if they have to ask whether you have anger and sadness.

  3. Saundra

    I would like to see happiness everywhere. but looking for it hasn’t worked for me so now I just try to be open and let things come to me. Not being to reactive. Happiness does hit me in a very pure way now. And Sadness hits softer.

  4. Haley

    Awe Ramona. You know it took me until I was about 23 to learn to miss my mom. Had to learn it. Now I just miss her. It’s a sign of love.

  5. Emily

    Yes, there are moments when all you can feel is sadness, anger, loneliness, or pain. It seems like you can’t find anything else to feel positively about… but that’s okay! It’s normal to have moments of sorrow. But always remember that time heals. With time, the emotion with fade.
    I always love the quote, “This, too, shall pass.” Because everything will!

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