Hiding your real Emotions – Reasons and Consequences – 27 Mar 12


I yesterday wrote and explained how people hide their feelings and never show what they really feel inside. I really sometimes wonder how come society promotes this? So I thought today I would write some more about possible reasons for people showing different emotions than they actually have and the consequences that this behaviour has.

The first and foremost reason for people to act fake is simply because we live in a fake world. Everyone around is fake. You learn straight away in your childhood by seeing your parents say something different than they actually feel. You know what they really think but you see them acting differently. And so do your friends. You learn doing that, too, it is simply a natural effect of growing up in that surrounding.

There are other reasons for it, too, though. Many people wear their mask because they are afraid that others could get too close. By showing what you really feel, they think you are very vulnerable. If you pretend to like someone and he leaves you, it is not a big problem, because you anyway only pretended. If you show your real affection however, it hurts more. People are afraid that others could get to know who they really are.

Of course, ego also plays a very big role. People don’t want to show their true emotions because they are ashamed of them. They believe they should not feel jealousy, anger, sadness or other emotions that could make others consider them as weak, immature, ridiculous or anything similar.

So these are the reasons why you act flat as though you were made of stone. What are the consequences?

I mentioned the biggest consequence yesterday already: if you don’t every show your true emotions, nobody will be able to really know you. People won’t be able to understand you if you at some point actually follow your heart and do what you want. If you start being true to yourself, they will believe that there is a fully different person in front of them. They don’t know what is in your heart, so how could they ever help you fulfill your dreams?

Trust and love is another problem that results from people wearing masks. People notice that it is not truly you. You cannot play being someone else and then in the end expect the other person to trust or love you. You are not natural and it is hard to trust someone who is not. It is a kind of a natural resistance. And without trust you cannot love.

People find it thus hard to trust, they get further and further apart from each other, they don’t know what others feel and in the end they don’t know even anymore what they feel themselves. They are insecure and unhappy.

So again here is the call for action: be yourself, live your true feelings, don’t hesitate to show them even if you think they are negative!

4 Replies to “Hiding your real Emotions – Reasons and Consequences – 27 Mar 12”

  1. It is true that hiding your real emotions can cause problems, however, I believe it is also true that showing your real emotions can cause problem. Such as respect and support. You would not tell a child who loves to sing that they are tone deaf. It would upset them and they may stop doing the thing that makes them happy, they may get very sad. There is a place for hiding some emotions.

  2. The problem with our world is that it is indeed fake and although nobody wants to be fake too, it is sometimes necessary to do so to get on with life. I believe that this is the difference between relationships. For your boss, neighbor, person in the street you may tell them what they want to hear as long as it causes no harm. But when you are with the people who you are close to, who truly respect, love and care for you, then you can drop the fake and speak honestly as you know they will listen and respect how you feel.

  3. This is something that so many people struggle with, I don’t when it became cool to hide your true feelings and shy away from your real personality. But it did and to be honest I’m as guilty as any other person. But I found that like you said then people don’t really know me…they know the person I pretend to be. So a maybe before I came to Beijing, I decided that there is power in vulnerability, in other words honesty…duh, haha perhaps this is why I talk so much.