Managing your Emotions during Difficulties with human Relations – 27 Oct 15

Emotions

Not every difficulty that we face in life is one of a financial nature. In yesterday’s blog, my main thought was rather on problems with business and money but of course there are issues that sometimes seem even worse than any money problem can ever be: problems in your relation with other people, your friends, family and most of all your partner. How should we handle these?

First of all, the same concept applies: calm down before you do anything. It is obvious that a dispute, a disagreement or an argument with someone you love can leave you completely unsettled. You may feel fully enraged or devastated, you may be in tears or shaking all over. You can feel right or regret what you have done but for any further thought or action you have to calm down and clear your head!

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t feel sorry towards the other one or feel wronged by him anymore! It means that you recognize your feeling and know where it comes from. Make an analysis: what exactly is the trigger of those feelings? Something the other one said? Something you did? What made you feel the way you do? Is it an action or just a thought or worry of yours?

I am myself an emotional person but while this may seem too much a process of the mind for some people, I believe we sometimes need to take this way in order to find out what the issue is. If I am so much in emotion that I cannot clearly recognize why I am feeling these emotions, my actions may reflect that.

The most stupid crimes are committed because people cannot control their anger. Afterwards, they often don’t even exactly know why they reacted the way they did. They were angry – but with a clear mind, they know themselves that their anger never justified their actions. That it was caused by an inner pain or injury which the other one may not even be responsible for.

So once you know why you feel the way you do, you can work on the solution of the problem.

If it is something you did wrong and you are sorry for, I believe it is never too late to apologize. You cannot expect the other one to accept your apology under every circumstances – but for yourself, you can take this step and make it clear to you that you did it. Even if not, you have tried and can move on!

If the other one did you wrong, you now have the chance to find out what you would like to do about it. You can explain the other one your feelings or you can take a decision on what to do next. It is the chance for you to act according to your deeper feelings, not only the momentary anger.

In the end, no matter what happens, the message is practically the same: whatever the problem, it won’t make the whole world break down. Be calm and find out what you can do about it!

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