I was writing about our ego in relationships. I already mentioned that you also need ego and you can really never fully be without ego. But when you love, your ego just loses its importance. This is what I mean with dissolving. It is as if it vanishes because your whole being is just in love. In front of love, ego is not important. If you get to choose between love and ego, who would choose the ego? Unfortunately it still happens, some people choose the ego, if it is because of habit or because they do not realize that they have the choice, but that is how they keep on thinking about what is theirs, about mine and yours. And that is how love gets lost.
Yesterday we moved from in the city of Bern to a nice house of friends who live one hour outside of the city. The house is really in the countryside, surrounded by hills with green trees where cows stand, walk and eat. It is just amazingly beautiful landscape and nature here. You can smell the clean, fresh air and you only hear the crickets chirping and from time to time a cow mooing, nothing else. The whole atmosphere is different and with this the weather. It is fresher, a little bit cooler out here than it was in the city.
The house in which we live is about 400 years old, made mainly of wood and has lower ceilings because people were smaller in earlier times. And luckily they have an internet connection here, too, otherwise I would not be able to upload my diary for you today.
Related posts
Fighting your Ego – a continuous Struggle with yourself? – 2 Oct 13
What to do when your Ego just got hurt – and you need to react? – 1 Oct 13
Ego – everybody has it, nobody wants it – 30 Sep 13
Ego and Perfectionism – a dangerous Combination – 7 Dec 12
Criticizing and taking Criticism in the Light of Ego – 6 Dec 12
Proud of being the most humble Person – An Egoist displaying his Humbleness – 30 Nov 12
How to Reduce or Increase Your Ego with Vedanta Philosophy – 24 Mar 11
Ego in Relationships – Separating mine and yours – 4 Jul 10
I, Me, Mine and my ego – 22 Apr 10
I can see how ego creates possession and this is dangerous. Possession is something that can really destroy relationships and our get in the way of us being fearless enough to truly express love.
I think it is a really hard battle for dudes to be able to love because of how their egos swell at the prospect of sexual conquests. They act like different people and then you can’t connect to them anymore. How can you love without being open? your ego is like a dam in a river – nothing can come through or get in when the ego is set up. Of course many women like being pushed under by the massive weight of a man’s ego. I personally think it does disservice to both men and women. If a woman bows, which many do subconsciously because of how firmly ingrained roles are, Men can live in delusion indefinitely, never being prompted out of the ego. And the woman takes on a different ego when she lowers herself and her intelligence purposefully for a man. I have seen some of the women I respect most in the world behave this way and it always makes me sad and infuriated. I realize too though, it is not good for a man to be in the position because all roles require ego. It is sad and disappointing to me that these old roles are prevalent even in the strongest, most intelligent women, and also that male conquistodor tendencies appear even in very compassionate and intelligent men. How can intelligent people choose to live this way, with the ego swelling so big over love when it comes to sex? Is it because they can’t see themselves doing it? I really don’t know, but knowing that it won’t stop saddens me greatly.
I don’t know why this happens Tanya. I realize that it does (not always of course and not with everyone). I’m sorry that it hurts you so much and I wonder why. What pain is in your heart? I’m really sorry for this pain.
Thank you. There is a pain. I wonder what it is too.
I think when we open ourselves up to true love, we become more selfless. And when we are selfless, we realize that our ego is not the only importance in our world; we must care for others. Love is one of the best ways to overcome the voice of the ego. I am working on this myself, and it is a truly worthy endeavor.
I thought I could chose ego over love and I was proved wrong – that was a wonderful thing. I realized that being physically apart from someone who you love doesn’t actually matter because your hearts and souls are still together. Now I am starting to understand that, I no longer feel lonely when I am alone. If two can become one then perhaps there is no room for ego. In true love there is no need for possession, it just what it is.
It is very sad indeed when people are too busy thinking of themselves to see the opportunities for true happiness and peace that are right in front of them. Loving unconditionally and receiving the same back is the best situation anyone could hope to be in.
My younger sister and I had a discussion about this subject in which we discovered that a person can only really know what self-less sacrificial love is like until they have children, that is a love I still have yet to understand. How my parents sacrifice so much for me and my sisters…I guess if I am being honest with myself I would have to say that I would sacrifice anything for my family too, perhaps I just have never been asked to do so…