Ego in Relationships – Separating mine and yours – 4 Jul 10


Yesterday I already wrote a little bit about ego and love and how relationships have again and again this one problem: the ego. Think about it, of how many relationships do you know that have ended because of ego? When the ego cannot dissolve in love, it happens that the partners feel a constant struggle and in the end decide to put an end to it. And then you can hear this famous sentence: ‘It did not work out’. I have heard this sentence thousands of times and I bet I am not the only one!

So people want to make it work, they really try! They say it is normal that there are problems in relationships and if you tell them that you don’t have any problem, they cannot believe it! They keep on trying and trying but sometimes they forget that their ego is in their way. You need to leave it behind.

People want to make it happen and want to be one but they still separate too much! They say yes, we are in a relationship but this is my house, my car, my bank account, my pocket, my everything and this over there is yours. You say you are life partners and you share your life and your bed but you do not share money and property, you still possess yours, although your love should make you one. You make so many limits and separations, you cannot be one! Do not limit yourself or the other one!

You have this fixed idea of how it should be or how it should not be and you try to press your partner into it. That is one example of ego that is very frequent. You try to fix the partner in this frame or the partner tries to fix you into the frame, both is not good. In this case, too, there is no freedom, there are only limits of what you can and cannot do.
We could all discuss about love for many hours but I think we had enough input for today.

4 Replies to “Ego in Relationships – Separating mine and yours – 4 Jul 10”

  1. i read this on a book :jealousy and ego do not come alone.. they are always accompanied by anger, greed, attachment and desires that can be fatal.

    well.. love makes us meet, ego separates us 🙂

  2. It seems like ego becomes a real problem in relationships when a person needs more than they give. It creates an imbalance when one person needs and needs but never gives. I suppose this is the ego in control. If both people give with unconditional love, then there will never be a question of “mine” and “yours” because it flows back and forth freely.

  3. One of my friends was ultra angry, when her boyfriend started to ask her every second day for a cigarette. She told me, that she wants him to buy his own package. And I was really shocked. Why can’t she enjoy to share her things with him? Is this really love or some kind of bookkeeping?