Ego - everybody has it, nobody wants it

Today I feel like writing about a little friend of yours. Yes, someone whom you know. Someone who is with you all the time. This little someone is sometimes tiny and small – and you like him that way – but from time to time he seems to swell to an enourmous size which then does not only disturb you but can create quite a damage! Who is that friend whom I am talking about? Right, it is the ego!

Ego is something that each and everyone has. If you look in a dictionary, you will find a definition similar to the one that I read: “A person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance, the opinion that you have about yourself”. Each person on this earth has an opinion about himself, be that a low, high or very high opinion. Some people lack self-esteem while others have a bit too much of it. Whatever is the case for you: you cannot deny having an ego. You would not exist without it.

Whenever you hear about someone’s ego or when you get reminded of your own ego, it is usually in a negative content. Obviously, because that is when you notice it most. You see a person whose ego is so bloated up, it raises his chest and nose high in the air. It makes that person look like an egoist, a self-centered, arrogant man or woman with whom it is no fun interacting. In such situations, you may feel that you yourself are very different and you may even come to the false perception that you have no ego. This idea gets destroyed in that moment when your ego, however big, brought you in a problem and you are regretting why you gave in to it. The ego is not only something negative though!

In fact, your ego is the reason why you go on and try to achieve things that you may be dreaming of. Your ego is the root and source of your self-confidence. You need your ego to think that you actually can achieve something. Without this thought that you might achieve something, you wouldn’t even start trying. Why would you go to a job interview if you had no self-esteem at all, believing that you won’t be able to do the job, pass the interview or fulfill the tasks that await you? Thank your ego for making you feel like you can do certain things even if they are difficult!

There is an idea, especially among the people who are called ‘spiritual’, that one should work on reducing his ego and ideally finish it completely. I don’t believe in this concept. It cannot happen – it would make you unable to operate, it would take away your courage, remove any trust in yourself and in the end kill you because you won’t even be able to get something to eat for yourself anymore, full of self-doubts.

Welcome your ego in a healthy amount. Control it, yes, have a check on it from time to time but don’t try to finish it off completely if you want to remain self-confident and brave. You need your ego, this little friend. Feed it but not too much.