How to Make a Difficult Decision – 21 Sep 09

Decision

I was talking with Ramona and Yashendu about decisions. We always have several possibilities and we can choose which way we would like to go. However sometimes it is difficult to find the decision which seems ‘the right decision’.

Have you ever been in a situation in which you didn’t know what to do because one person would be happy if you decide in one way and the other one would be sad but if you decide the other way, you could make the second person feel good but the first person would be disappointed?

Imagine if you have two friends who want to do something with you in the evening. One of them wants to go to see a movie and the other one wants to invite you for dinner. Both invitations are for the same time and you really don’t know what to do. You don’t care, you would enjoy both, the movie or dinner.

In this case I would suggest you to find a solution in the middle. Call your friends and ask them if they wouldn’t like to come to your place for dinner and a movie afterwards. This would be a solution with which both could be happy. In some cases however this doesn’t work.

Sometimes you know exactly you can either go left or right and there is no way to go in the middle. You can either go up or you go down and there will be one who is disappointed. And in this case I would like to say you to listen to your heart. With what would you feel good? First of all, calm down and realize that no decision makes the world stand still, everything will go on, no matter which way you go.

Imagine you decide for going to the right, how would you feel? And if you go the other way, how would you feel? You need to empty your mind from thoughts of others and see what you really feel about it. Then decide, do it and don’t look back and regret. And I tell you, if it is your friend that you are worried about and who will be disappointed, and if that friend is a real friend, he or she will understand. Because if someone really loves you, he will be happy if you are happy.

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  1. Davina Severgnini

    This is so true, heart and head in my case often confused when one saying something different to the other.Thank you Swami.

  2. Cynthia Shreck

    Thanks Swami Ji,This entry is very helpful to me and maybe to many because indecision about conflicting circumstance is a situation that many people have to face.

  3. Emily

    Yes, following your heart can never steer you wrong. Even if you disappoint others, you have to honor your own truth and the guidance of your heart. I have had situations in which two plans conflicted. I felt obligated to do one of them because I was afraid of what that person would think of me if I didn’t attend… but if I chose to go with that plan, I wouldn’t feel right about it because it wasn’t the right reason! It is best to choose out of love and not fear… so go with the heart. Thanks, Swami!

  4. Nicola

    The heart will always tell you the best route to take in any decision making, i agree. Earlier in the year I found myself in the middle of a very difficult and painful position beween 2 people I care for considerably. One was being awkward and unreasonable due to the death of her father, and the confused feelings and upset she was experiencing at that time, which was putting me in an emotionally traumatic situation, yet still I had to consider the fact that she was at that moment undertandably in a very dark place. I knew what she was expecting of me was unfair on myself and the other person involved, and so eventually I had to aproach her and tell her exactly how irrational and unfair she was being despite not wanting to cause her more upset than she was already experiencing at that time. The news went badly, but I stayed true to myself knowing that my intentions were good and after a little time passed she got in contact with me and understood my decision. Since then, her request has not even been mentioned and our friendship is still in tact.

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