Babbaji, my father, had been invited for a big wedding and before leaving he asked us if we wanted to come, too. Actually it was more a question to the other three as Babbaji knows that I don’t like going to wedding parties. I said to Ramona however that it might be an interesting experience for her as the bride’s family is very rich and you could imagine that it would be a really big event. She had never seen the full extent of a big Indian wedding party and so she and Yashendu went along.
When she came back she had many things to tell. As I had predicted it had been a big celebration. The bride’s father had rented the garden of a big five star hotel. The guests entered from a big, majestic gate and directly had the view on the lawn with a small pavilion in front of them where musicians would later sit on cushions for soft Indian live music. In the middle of the lawn you could see tables with comfortable chairs around them where guests could eat all the delicious dishes which were presented to them on buffets on both sides of the lawn. You could have many different Indian vegetarian dishes with vegetables, lentils and rice, spicy snacks with potatoes and paneer, pasta that was prepared in pans on spot with vegetables of your choice, at least six different sorts of freshly baked flat bread and a big variety of sweets.
Ways led on both sides around the lawn with ponds and flowers separating the passage from the outer wall. You could follow the path to the right up to a big dance-floor or past bouncing castles with playing children to another platform. This is where Babbaji, Yashendu and Ramona found the bride and the groom where they were just about to exchange flower malas, one of the most important actions during an Indian wedding. They were surrounded by friends and family and of course photographers and even some cameramen holding their film-cameras high up so that they could get a shot of the bride and the groom in their shining and glittering dresses. Those who could not see the couple in the crowd could watch them on a big screen beside them which was connected to one of the cameras. You could see waterfalls in the background and in the foreground the heavy jewelry of the bride when the groom lay the flowers around her.
At this point Ramona’s narration came to a halt. She frowned and said “But then the photographers stopped them, asked them to hold the hands in a certain way, to look in a certain direction and they pulled around at the clothes, the mala and everything! After that the two sat down and for the rest of the evening stayed there so that everybody could sit next to them for a picture. It didn’t look like much fun!” Although everybody was very much dressed up and in expensive Saris, suits and jewelry, Ramona did not have a real feeling of a celebration for the wedding couple.
I told her that unfortunately weddings are a big show here in India. People don’t really do the event in order to celebrate but they show off how big a place they can rent, how many people they can invite and how luxurious food they can offer. We both agreed that the bride and the groom don’t really have much from this day which people think should be the most beautiful day of their lives. I actually said to Ramona that I prefer funerals, there are more real emotions. Of course, they are sad emotions but people express them, they come together with this grief. On a wedding they don’t even seem to come together to celebrate but to show or see how much money there is.
I believe a wedding should simply be a joyous day for the bride, the groom and the guests. They should feel happy, they should do what they wish to do and they should enjoy the time with their guests. The perfect photograph is not that important if you have the greatest memories in your heart! You may look at that picture later and say ‘oh, see, what a beautiful dress I was wearing’ but if you had a wedding that focused more on you, you may think back on that day and say ‘What a happy day it was, what a wonderful way to celebrate our love!’
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I went to a couple of weddingparties in Germany and I have to say, the one I liked the most was the one everything went ‘wrong’ or not as planned =) But what made this weddingparty so nice and wonderful for everyone was all the love which was surrounding us. Isn’t that the most important thing on a wedding day?
Oh that doesn’t sound like fun at all…I wouldn’t like my weddingparty to be like this!
I got also chance once to attend an Indian wedding while I was traveling there. That was also nearly same how its described here. I don’t think so it was any fun for them who were marrying. So I am wondering all Indian weddings are like that?
Maybe they have at least a nice ‘inofficial’ party with a lot of fun. With some friends and family. I definitely would have one!
Oh weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love! but with all the planning and the expectation… so much gets in the way. Be happy on the day of union! Be happy without all this extra stuff every day.
This sounds absolutely beautiful. I would love to see an Indian wedding myself some day. 🙂
In many countries the wedding day isn’t for your own joy, but for the joy of others. Aren’t many weddings stressfull? Specially for bride and groom it is all but relaxing. They have to shake hands, give thousands of hugs and kisses, be part of all those rituals, dance, eat, drink and they have to be happy. Isn’t this all a little bit artificial?