Our Experience with weaning Apra

After having told you about the most common habits of breastfeeding and weaning in the Germany and in India, I want to tell you today about how we weaned Apra only a week ago – and how it was so much easier than expected.

We were, from the very beginning, sure that Ramona would breastfeed Apra for quite a long time. No, wait, actually the expression ‘quite a long time’ is very relative, as it can mean something different not only in different cultures and countries but even to different individuals.

Ramona and I talk very openly and clearly about such topics and we decided not to fix ourselves to anything yet when she was born. We wanted her to get all the benefits she can get of breastfeeding and so she got her mother’s milk for a long time!

When we noticed that she needed to eat more solid food to grow, we reduced the daytime feedings to only one, in midday, before her nap. That one was easy. When she wanted to breastfeed, we distracted her with something else and then fed her other things, so that she was full and hunger was not the reason for her wanting to nurse. When she asked, although we knew she was full, we told her that she would now only get milk in bed, for sleeping. Toddlers like logic and a certain pattern, so when she got to know that nursing was something for bedtime, she adjusted her mind accordingly.

This midday-feeding was eliminated just before we left to Germany this year, when Apra was already more than two years old. In midday time, when she got visibly tired, Purnendu or I took her on our laps instead of Ramona, told her stories or walked around until she was asleep. She was annoyed at first – the pattern had changed. It took some more effort, creativity and most of all determination – we didn’t give in. The new pattern was that she only would nurse when it was dark in the evening and we would go to sleep.

During our time in Europe, we stuck to this rule – but Apra got confused in the first days, as it didn’t get dark until so late! After a while, she got used to her bedtime routine – but somehow started waking up often in night and then nursed, sometimes nearly the whole night through. Near the end of our time in Germany, we decided that it was now time to fully close this chapter.

There were no signs that she would stop on her own, as we read many children did already in that age. So we would have to do something from our side. The tips and tricks are manifold – from applying something bitter which would keep a child from drinking to her mother going for a weekend-trip – but we were not really in favour of such drastic methods! We didn’t want to scare her or be very sad.

So after we had settled back in the Ashram, we told her that she was now big enough, told her how none of the big children drank milk from their mothers anymore and that she could drink milk out of the glass. We added that it hurts her mother when such a big child drinks.

We kept her up and busy for a long time. When she got tired, she insisted with screaming and crying for half an hour but to no avail. In the end, she fell asleep, tired and exhausted. When she woke up in night, she was again very upset that she was not allowed to breastfeed. She seemed really angry with Ramona and me – and after twenty minutes, we decided to go out of the room with her. Once outside, we went over to her uncle Purnendu’s room – and she was happy to be with him! Some stories and a round through the Ashram on his lap put her back to sleep.

And that was practically it. On the next day, we again kept her awake the whole day. In the evening, she was tired and only asked twice but didn’t scream or shout anymore. Ramona and I read books with her or played something before going to bed – and she fell asleep quite peacefully. The most beautiful thing now is that she sleeps through the whole night without any problem.

For us, this was the right time. Obviously, for Apra, too.