I met a woman is going through a divorce from her husband. They have two children who are ten and twelve years old. She and her husband seemed to be a perfect couple to everybody who met them. They had a great house and both were artists, working from home. She was very happy in her relationship, too, until the day he told her that he was not.
The thought that her and his future would not be together had never entered her mind. She moved out of his house together with the children. When the children went and visit him the first time they wanted to take their toys home with them but their father did not allow it. He said: “These are your toys and you can play with that when you are here.” He replied the same to the mother of the children.
If I analyze this I feel his ego is more important to him than his own children. Why, what is the reason that he doesn’t allow them to take the toys although he bought them for the children? He will not play with the toys but his ego says: ‘I bought these toys with my money, you are not going to take them to your mother’s house’. Even if the children took these toys to their home, their mother would not play with them, it would be the children who play with them. His ego is creating this feeling that his ex-wife is an enemy and it is so strong that he does not want to give his children the joy of the toys. I also see anger mixing in this ego. It is the anger towards his ex-wife which is in his heart and he cannot feel relaxed and happy when he sees that his wife feels good. I see this in many different cases.
Sometimes ego and anger can bring a darkness to your heart with which you do not even care about the happiness of your children. Although you have love for them. But I also would say that this love is not pure. It is love driven by the ego: ‘I love them because they are MY children. Why should they be happy when they are with their mum?’ I want to say to people to please analyze yourself and see that your ego is not bigger than your love.