People deal differently with situations in daily life and of course it has a lot to do with the basic attitude towards life and other people around you. And in more extreme situations you can see how some people turn to be fighters. They like to keep a problem, a fight alive and they often cannot see clearly in their anger. These people also feel attacked easily. Even though there is nobody who wishes to harm them, they expect the rest of the world to be fighters like them and they think they get attacked. A simple sentence in a discussion can make them want to defend themselves. They feel attacked and so they try to ‘bite back’. And they struggle and fight.
I am not really this kind of person. I actually do the opposite. If something is going nice and smooth, I am very happy. And if something is making many problems and it gets too much, I just quit. I do not like to fight then. I do not want to struggle and fight, I want to live in peace, easy and with love. Fighters always fear the next attack and they cannot lay down their weapons.
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I second that as I personaly believe in let bygones be bygones unless it is a situation which harms my family and I will fight till the end.
swami ji express it wonderfully that normally people think that they can actually decrease their anger by abusing someone but actually if you are abusing you are ruining yourself
I think when someone is angry they believe that a person owes them something, they want something from the person they are directing their anger at. And it is almost never an explanation or to speak fairly or to get tot he bottom of a problem, usually it is because the anger wants to make more anger. An angry person feels a sense of injustice, like something in just is being done to them, even if they make it up themselves every time. I believe that many angry people believe themselves to be victims and see their outrage merely as them trying to fight back against a world that is unfairly set against them. Anger, my least understood emotion, is not one that I stand well against. Many times when anger is directed at me I know there is no communication to be had, that often times the angry person just wants to scream at you and demand that you make something right, even though nothing you could possibly do could ever be right. I do not know why any person, who was aware of this, could still choose anger. I can understand someone being misguided and ignorant and still choosing this, but I don’t understand how an intelligent person could be angry in this way. I tend toward other emotions that are destructive in a different way than anger is. I feel like there was a time in my life where I had a choice to be an angry person, or not, and I chose not to so I do not understand. But maybe the fact that i had a choice in whether or not to become angry means that I was afforded a luxury, I am uncertain, but I think so. There are many angry people who probably couldn’t have made it out of their households as children without becoming angry against the anger around them. For me, seeing signs of anger is so disturbing that I just close off my mind- I don’t partake in it. I don’t accept its destructiveness as a decent way of dealing with almost anything, as so often anger is pointless. Usually it just wounds other people, and also its bearer.
I have also met people who seem to find problems wherever they go. No matter the situation, something is always wrong. They will be negative, angry, or even pick fights. I’d like to wake them up and say… you, yourself, are the problem! You create your own negativity everywhere you go. And if you want this it end, it is up to you to change your mind.