A mother came for a healing session and told me that she had a big problem with her 15 year old son. She said: he is addicted to an internet game and he keeps on playing. And what you need to be good in this game is lots of time and if you want to be very good you need money. That is how he took my credit card and spent 3000 Euro on the internet.
Another mother told me that her 15 year old son is taking drugs at home. Another mother of a 13 year old girl complained that her daughter comes home from school fully drunk. A mum worries because her 16 year old girl comes home from parties at four o’clock in the morning. A mother told that her teenage children kept drinking until they were unconscious and had to go to the hospital.
These are examples of stories that I hear from parents. When I hear these problems I am thinking about what is really happening to young people in this society. What is the reason, why did they lose the respect for their parents and for what they say? Why are they abusive with their own body, mind and soul? These situations do not come over night, from one day to another. It is a gradual process of years. Maybe the situation wouldn’t have become that bad if the parents had taken care in the beginning, at the first cigarette or the first beer.
I have talked about this topic before and I feel it is a very important topic in this time in our society. We are facing these problems and we have to think about a solution to save the future of our children and our youth. I would say that parents are also somehow responsible in creating this kind of situation. Most of the time we see in this busy life that many parents do not really have time to look after and give that much time and love to those whom they have created and who have a bit more expectations from them than parents think. Parents should feel more responsible for their children. They should not only be busy in their own business and enjoyment, at least up to a certain age of the child.
Of course I believe in freedom but up to a certain age a child’s mind is not fully developed and they definitely need some guidance, somebody there to tell them what is good, what is bad, which is right, which is wrong. And they should make sure that the children follow what they are telling them. For that they have to become strong and strict. Love and freedom is good but control is also needed. When it gets out of control, it takes the teenager to a wrong place. You should control because you love them and don’t want to let them go in the wrong way. Sometimes you have to be strict and take a decision. Maybe in that time it will not feel nice and the child will not be happy with you but seen in the long run it will be good for him or her.
Of course parents are the first ideal for children. Don’t do what you don’t want your children to do. Otherwise they learn what they hear and follow what they see. Love your child; that is wonderful. Give freedom but also give clear signs which direction is not good.